Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
