its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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