There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Randomize
