His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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