Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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