there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
