Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
