Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
He better not be in your backpack
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
