when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Randomize
