he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
