I wish I could teleport
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
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