Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
