YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize