Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I understand Curling. That high.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Randomize
