What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
BRING THE BAGELS
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
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