He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
