I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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