Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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