pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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