this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Hippo gnu deer
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Randomize
