I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
