Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
