I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
