Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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