When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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