He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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