i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
