thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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