I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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