Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Randomize
