I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Is it because I queefed?
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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