Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I'm bleeding and have questions
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
