Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
