Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
