Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
