So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
