I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize