Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
