I accidentally burped into my bong.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
