For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
