I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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