if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize