i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Randomize
