i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Randomize
