he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Randomize
