No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
