I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
