he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
