what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
