never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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