I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
