So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
