can u get pink eye on your cock?
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
