AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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