Your mouth is God's brothel.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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