i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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