ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Randomize
