I don't usually arrange sex via text message
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
