walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
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