She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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